My blog started 2008, and 12 years later I still update my online diary once in a while. ..
I cannot believe I started this journey 12 years ago. I have so many post that I wished I'd just kept it private instead of deleting it in the online world, But hey that drastic decision was part of my healing process...
Who I was 12 years ago?...
Sometimes I looked back on my younger years laughing at myself or at times I give her a pat on her back for being so strong.. Back then, I was so innocent, but I thought I was so grown up back then. LOL! probably I will say the same thing about me 12 years after I posted this. I remember I thought I knew everything. I thought I had my ducks lined up. I thought life is perfect. no flaws, just perfectly perfect! But one tragedy hit me so hard. My mom passed away and it crashed me to bits. I was like what now? I was so lost but I did not show it to anyone. I just pretended I was OK. but deep inside me I was so broken. I cried every night and wipe my tears the next day like nothing happens. People judge me at that time. Just because I did not show my real emotions to everyone. They thought I care less about my mom. They thought I just dust it off and live a happy life the next day. But no, that is not the story. I WAS SO BROKEN AND STILL BROKEN as I missed my NANAY every single day. Typing this makes me cry :(
Who Am I 12 years later?
To be honest I am still figuring out. I truly do not know yet. Maybe that is what life is all about. We never know what the future holds for us, we JUST continue to learn and figure things out. Still my ducks are not in a row.. I rely on my daily decision making. I might F*cked up. who knows. But as much as possible I tried to think gazillion times now before making decisions whether it'll will be about finances or just life in general...
You only live once you know, and If you do it right, Once is just enough!
Xoxo,
HONEY
HONEY
